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Dear Yuletide Author

First of all, you look beautiful and thanks for being my magical Yuletide friend!  This year I decided to do a Dear Yuletide Author letter because, while my own Muse lies dormant, I have many demands er... needs....um....desires.... ideas!  Yes, ideas that I'd like for other people to bring to fruition.  So thank you in advance, you're the best!

In general, you cannot go wrong with giving me:  sex, raunchy dirty sex, as long as it's consensual and not underaged.  I'm more into h/h than into h/c.  I am not into mpreg, domestic kink, or men behaving like women.

1.  For my first request, I'm sure everyone is shocked to know that I went with The Three Musketeers (i.e. The Book).  I'm really fortunate to belong to a fandom where most, if not all, of my fetishes generally get fulfilled.  But one can never have enough of a good thing.  So, here is a list of things that you can feel free to select from that you know in advance would please me:

- I have long had this idea in my head that in an alternate reality in which Porthos was to disappear/get abuducted (for whatever reason), that Athos, Aramis, and d'Artagnan would probably kill each other.  But perhaps you disagree.  What do you think would happen?  I'd love to read an AR like that (even though I'd really miss Porthos).

- Anything (up to and including threesome) with Athos, Porthos, and Aramis being THEMSELVES.   Honestly, the threesome does seem rather out of character due to Porthos and his rather raging heterosexuality, but hey, maybe you can convince me otherwise!  I just think the three of them have great chemistry together and need to hang out more.

- Have I mentioned the one where Athos and Aramis snark at each other and have hot sex?  I know I'm perfectly capable of doing this MYSELF, but it's so much nicer when other people do it for me.  XD <3

- Also, if you're really motivated, you can leave 1625 behind and go straight to 1649.  I won't complain.  Really.

2.  For my second request, there is "The Three Musketeers" i.e. film by Paul W.S. Anderson (2011).  Here is what I need:  I need you to make this film better for me.  Let's face it, the dialogue was weak and the character development was virtually non-existent.  And why bother casting Luke Evans if you're not going to do more close-ups of his beautiful face?  Here is a list of things that I might like to see:

- Buckingham and Athos hate-fucking?  Anyone?  I mean, what was UP with those two?  

- Luke Evans...er... I mean Aramis and virtually ANYONE (but Athos would be nicest) except d'Artagnan.  No one needs to see that.  Ever.  In any Musketeer sub-fandom.

- Since clearly this was a "let's make shit up" free for all, how about some backstory?  How did the three musketeers meet?  What are these "41 or 42" missions that they've allegedly been on that I keep hearing so much about in interviews?  Why is Aramis far-sighted at so young an age?  These are all themes that should be explored.

- Themes that should NOT EVER be explored are:  sex with d'Artagnan.  In fact, I will be really offended by the quasi-pedophilia implied, especially since the casting people did such a great job that the others are all so much older than him, and especially Porthos, who is 46.  I did not realize we were making "Twenty Years After."  

3.  Last but certainly not least, we have Deadwood (the TV show).  Oh, Deadwood, how I miss you.  Why were you ever cancelled?  I weep for you.  Please dry my tears by writing either a) anything with Al Swearengen being himself because I love him and he endlessly amuses me or b) Seth and Sol being the adorable couple that they are (in my head) - sex is always a special bonus, so please don't hold yourself back.

Again, please accept my joyful sentiments of appreciation and may you have an awesome Yule!